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We will memorialize my father, Darrell, this Saturday, September 7, 2024, at 11 am at La Jolla United Methodist Church, 6063 La Jolla Blvd., La Jolla CA 92037. I'm honored to bring the sermon for the day, which I've entitled, "Beyond Words." My father was a quiet man. For most of his life, this was not because he lacked for words -- to the contrary, he was supremely articulate. But Darrell never spoke loudly, and rarely spoke at length. He was a great teacher, his colleagues in the world of medicine tell me, and he was an effective leader in a great variety of settings -- at home, at work, at church. But Darrell was more interested in leading by example, than he was in "preaching" -- in this, he took after his own father, Carl. In 2009 a catastrophic stroke deprived him of many of the words he would have wished to speak across the last fifteen years of his life. While he was not cognitively impaired, the stroke did profound damage to the function of his brain that governed the production of language. For the first time since he was a small child, he had to search -- and often failed to find -- the right words to express his thoughts. In the years leading up to his death, his speech grew even more limited, and I began to tell my wife that "I miss my Dad's voice." By this I meant that I missed hearing him as he used to sound before the stroke -- thoughtful, nuanced, incisive, wise. One of my goals, now that he is gone, is to reclaim the Darrell who lived such a rich and full and inspiring life across his first eight decades. I don't want to forget his ninth decade -- the decade he lived after the stroke -- but I do want to claim the whole of his life as I continue to seek to follow in his footsteps. He was, and will remain, my moral exemplar.
Scroll down for a short obituary.
DARRELL DEAN FANESTIL
October 31, 1933 - August 12, 2024
Darrell Dean Fanestil of La Jolla, California died on Monday, August 12, 2024, at the age of ninety. A husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather, uncle, teacher, physician, researcher, churchman, and philanthropist, he will be greatly missed.
Darrell was born on October 31,1933 in Great Bend, Kansas, to Carl Leonard Fanestil and Esther Agnes (Fail) Fanestil. Carl and Esther raised Darrell and his sister, Marjorie, in Emporia, where Carl and his brother, Ed, built a cattle and meatpacking business that remains in operation under the family name today.
Darrell excelled as a student, and also developed a love of sports, participating in both track and field and basketball. He took these passions with him to the University of Kansas (KU) in 1951. At KU he went on a blind date with Dorthy Ann Smith of El Dorado, Kansas, and over a bottle of Coca-Cola fell head over heels in love. Darrell and D.Ann graduated from KU in 1955 and were married that same year.
After graduating from KU School of Medicine in 1958, Darrell launched his distinguished career in academic medicine with residencies and fellowships in Boston, La Jolla, Baltimore and San Francisco. At each stop, D.Ann gave birth to a child – Bradley Dean in 1960, John Whitaker in 1961, Jane Elizabeth in 1964, and Katherine Smith in 1965. The Fanestil family was complete at six.
After working four years at the KU Medical Center in Kansas City, Darrell was invited to help establish the Department of Nephrology at the new Medical School at the University of California San Diego (UCSD). Darrell and D.Ann returned to La Jolla in 1970, moving into the Cliffridge neighborhood, where they joined a vast network of UCSD-related families and ushered their children into a cherished life that revolved around the nearby Torrey Pines Elementary School, YMCA, baseball fields, and canyons. They also retained their commitment to the quiet Christian faith that they inherited from their parents, and invested themselves and their children deeply in the life of the La Jolla United Methodist Church (LJUMC).
Darrell enjoyed a remarkable tenure at the UCSD Medical School, his long and fruitful career encompassing basic research, clinical work, and major administrative responsibilities. His deepest professional commitment was to the Department of Nephrology, which he chaired for nearly two decades, and where he built a team dedicated to combining research, teaching, and the practice of medicine. Darrell took special satisfaction in mentoring physicians in basic and applied research, and supervised the training of generations of post-doctoral fellows who continued on to careers as physician-scientists. His colleagues and former students remember him for his intellectual curiosity, his dedication to rigorous research, and his care and concern for their professional development and personal well-being. Along the way, Darrell earned his own stellar reputation in the field of nephrology and cultivated collegial international collaborations, turning them into lifelong friendships.
After retiring in 1999, Darrell remained active in medical research for many years, took on a variety of leadership responsibilities at LJUMC, and served on the Board of Trustees at the United Methodist-related Claremont School of Theology. He and D.Ann enjoyed many years of international travel together, a passion they had first discovered during a trip to Europe early in their marriage, and had cultivated during sabbatical years in England and Switzerland. As they traveled the globe, they deepened both their love of their own country and their respect for others, displaying a spirit of generosity and understanding that characterized every dimension of their lives.
Darrell retained a deep affection throughout his life for the Flint Hills of Kansas, where his father had grazed cattle. In retirement, he bought and refurbished an old limestone farmhouse near Cottonwood Falls, and hired a local couple to manage it as a Bed & Breakfast. When visiting his mother, Esther, who lived in Emporia to the age of 101, Darrell and D.Ann would stay at the Bed & Breakfast, or at a humble house in town that Darrell maintained and kept in working order. Even after Esther’s death, Darrell and D.Ann continued to make regular pilgrimages to Kansas, often organizing their travel around an annual event called the “Symphony in the Flint Hills.”
Darrell suffered a major stroke in 2009 and lived the last many years of his life with expressive aphasia. While enormously frustrated by his limited capacity to find the right words to express his still cogent thoughts, he retained a generous posture in his dealings with people in every station of life. His caregivers in his final years reported consistently that he was among their favorite clients for his gentle spirit and his desire to make their work as seamless as possible. A great physician, he was also a great patient.
Darrell considered himself extremely fortunate to have been able to move to La Jolla early in his academic career. He expressed his gratitude by endowing a Chair in Nephrology-Hypertension with a bequest to UCSD in 2022. Characteristically, he sought no public recognition for the gift.Darrell’s children remember him for his extraordinary commitment to their growth and flourishing, even as he pursued his demanding professional career. A loving father, he never raised his voice and radiated a calm confidence that now inspires them to seek the best for their own children. A devoted grandfather, he supported his nine grandchildren by showering them with love and affection and by supporting their education, just as he had done for his own children. Darrell’s commitment to family and education can now be found throughout the family tree, as can his love of close friends, a good athletic competition, classical music, and a beautiful sunset.
He was preceded in death by his parents, Carl and Esther, and sister, Marjorie. He is survived by his wife of 69 years, D.Ann Fanestil; his children (and spouses) Brad Fanestil (Mimi Ward); John Fanestil (Jennifer Leich), Jane Peterson (Keith), and Kay Gilbert (Scott); nine grandchildren: Kevin, Blake, Wilson, Whitaker, NolaRose, Eleanor, Jacob, Emily, Claire; and one great-granddaughter, Asijah.
In accordance with his wishes, Darrell’s body will be cremated and there will be no burial. Someday his family plans to scatter his ashes near Cottonwood Falls, in the Flint Hills he walked as a child with his father, Carl, as a young man with the love of his life, D.Ann, and as an old man with his children and grandchildren. In lieu of flowers, the family invites your donation “in memory of Darrell Fanestil” to the Symphony in the Flint Hills 331 Broadway St, P.O. Box 370, Cottonwood Falls, KS 66845, or: https://symphonyintheflinthills.org/giving/
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